But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
