Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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