She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
