Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
