You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
