How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
