Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
