It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
