thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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