..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
