what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
