JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
