singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
