I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
