'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
