there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
