What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
