I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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