Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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