either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
