It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
