It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
