and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
