You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
