1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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