He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
