i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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