when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm having to shit out rocks
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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