is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize