I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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