He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize