Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!

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(412): Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it! http://tfl.nu/we6e

Replies (24) Good night (4201) Bad night (929)
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(972): View more from Texas

90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina

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(972): 90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina http://tfl.nu/4hnn

Replies (7) Good night (884) Bad night (3355)
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(334): View more from Alabama

i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face

(1-334): View more from Alabama

so you're single again?

(334): View more from Alabama

yea but it was worth it

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(334): i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face (1-334): so you're single again? (334): yea but it was worth it http://tfl.nu/2tzr

Replies (46) Good night (5008) Bad night (1036)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.

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(970): Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yvle

Replies (12) Good night (728) Bad night (3489)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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(504): All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself. http://tfl.nu/wwab

Replies (45) Good night (920) Bad night (7190)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas

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(814): he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas http://tfl.nu/93o8

Replies (13) Good night (1804) Bad night (4652)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.

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(615): Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span. http://tfl.nu/rd54

Replies (36) Good night (6740) Bad night (1370)
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(319): View more from Iowa

the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".

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(319): the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy". http://tfl.nu/gh3y

Replies (9) Good night (4290) Bad night (1445)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.

(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.

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(843): There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac. (843): I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary. http://tfl.nu/0c6s

Replies (3) Good night (1314) Bad night (486)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..

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(203): I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground.. http://tfl.nu/w7v0

Replies (2) Good night (1129) Bad night (546)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.

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(740): Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked. http://tfl.nu/voiu

Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (456)
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(646): View more from New York

Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.

(646): View more from New York

Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die

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(646): Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens. (646): Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die http://tfl.nu/6x7r

Replies (1) Good night (1032) Bad night (439)
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(904): View more from Florida

The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo

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(904): The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo http://tfl.nu/8wcq

Replies (8) Good night (841) Bad night (576)
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(251): View more from Alabama

We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.

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(251): We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies. http://tfl.nu/6jxt

Replies (5) Good night (1253) Bad night (404)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference

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(612): I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference http://tfl.nu/y7l1

Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (184)

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