i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.