Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
