Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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