The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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