I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
