i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
