maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
