Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
