Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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