My pussy is not your playground.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sorry my hands just texted you
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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