He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
