Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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