i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
did you just send me my own nude
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
