His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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