Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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