She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
