her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
