Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
