i already hear my dad disowning me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
