My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my being single is dangerous.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
