I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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