Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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