The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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