My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
