I think my fart just growled at me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
