Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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