I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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