i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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