Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
