This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
