you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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