I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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