why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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